Sex & Relationships

Happily Ever After?

When you know yourself and understand your life mission  and have answered the question Whose am I? you are ready to start exploring partnerships.

If you are called to marry, you need a spouse who will support you in your mission not one who will hold you back.

John has discovered he has a women and children’s ministry (as explained in my upcoming book on parenting). As part of his life mission he is called to be a Dad to under-fathered women and to use his authority as a man with children to help them acquire discipline for life. This role requires there to be moments of intimacy between his ‘children’ and himself although John has never been unfaithful to his wife Sarah.

But Sarah does not understand why he is spending all his time on other women and other people’s children? She lashes out at John and constantly belittles his need to get his affection outside the home. John now feels out of place at home and stays out for longer hours. Their marriage is in trouble.

Sex & Relationships

What Makes A Great Partnership?

Great partnerships are much more than the mere coming together of two or more people to tackle everyday tasks. I believe there are at least three things that make partnerships great.

A truly great partnership is where people are on a joint mission united by similar values and enriched by complementary life outlooks.

This means that you and all your partners need to have a good idea of who they are. Ask yourself if it would be possible to meet the criteria for a great partnership listed below if you or your intended partners do not know yourselves.

A Joint

To enter into a meaningful partnership you need to know your God-given mission in life – what were you created for? What has God sent you here to do?

Your partners are coming to help you achieve your mission either in your work or your personal life – they cannot do that if you do not know what that mission is. 

Neither can they help you if they don’t know what their missions are. Missions form the heart of any great partnership.


Important personal values that need to considered in partnerships are:

Money and the use of it (spend or save), sex (how often, what type), social status (the desire to mingle with ‘other classes’?), parenting style (liberal or authoritarian?). 

Others are employment options (wife to work or stay at home?), time spent on others (bringing needy cases home or not) and, religious/ spiritual beliefs (Muslims marrying Christians or vice versa).


Zoom-in navigators focus on a future goal prioritizing, making policy, providing a sense of urgency and setting and meeting deadlines. 

Wide-angle collaborators consider many aspects of an issue before acting. They focus on the present and their specialty is building relationships (networking), negotiating and bringing peace. 

Both life outlooks are needed for great ‘full-picture’ partnerships. Find out more at the

Sex & Relationships

The Truth About Sex

Sex is designed by God to work on at least three levels – physical, emotional and spiritual – in order to fully bind together a man and a woman who are committed to each other in marriage. If you dabble in sex outside marriage to satisfy one level of need – to get a physical release, to feel emotionally good or to prove yourself to be a man in your spiritual quest for identity – you are AUTOMATICALLY affected by the other levels of sex as well because they CANNOT be separated. 


We all know about the physical aspects of sex. Once we have a condom we think we are okay but ‘safe sex’ is a great misconception. Condoms, IF USED PROPERLY, can only protect you from sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy but they do NOTHING to protect you from the emotional and spiritual consequences of sex outside marriage. 


Many of us have sex just to feel loved or connected to others but emotional hunger is satisfied not by sex but by satisfying our emotional needs with good friendships and giving to others. This will meet deep emotional needs in a way sex cannot. Sex is emotional but it is best when it is used as an extension of already satisfied, deep, emotional needs.


We often use sex to answer questions of identity about our manhood or womanhood but we are building up a spiritual connection with each of our sex partners. As a result we MAY be open to various spiritual issues that our sexual partners carry. Most of us are unaware that depression is a particular spiritual problem that we suffer when engaged in sexual lust.

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