Mature adults are individuals who know themselves, understand their life missions and are accountable to someone greater than themselves for their choices. They are driven by their mission.
This gives them the ability to form HEALTHY partnerships because in defining themselves they are defining the kind of partner they require. It is a step by step journey – a journey that requires skilled parenting if you really want to prepare your wards to go out into the world and realize their greatness. Parenting is possibly the most important ‘job’ we will ever do so we need to acquire the skills to excel at it.
What Is Humility?
How were you brought up?
In Ghana we routinely destroy our children’s confidence by shouting at/beating them unnecessarily in public which breeds timid (as opposed to humble) children. Timid children lack confidence.
What we need to realize as Ghanaian parents is that HUMILITY IS NOT THE SAME AS A LACK OF CONFIDENCE. Humility is thinking of yourself less (not being proud) it is not thinking less of yourself (looking down on yourself in low confidence.)
Give Them A Reason.
Training in REASONING is largely absent from the Ghanaian upbringing. ‘Sweep this room every morning or I will beat you’ the parent says giving the child no REASON to sweep the room aside from avoiding punishment.
The child will never take the initiative to do it without being asked, because she has learnt to operate with threats. She will only do the tasks that carry the biggest punishment if left undone instead of taking pride in keeping the room clean even when there is no parent around.
Are You Called To Parent Other People's Children?
Changing the way we parent is the duty of all of us not just biological parents.
Our African ancestors understood long ago that it takes a village to raise a child. This is godly wisdom because it turns out that God, whom the Bible calls the Father to fatherless, has, in His wisdom, established a network of non-biological parents across every society with specific parenting ministries.
Many of us have actually met our non-biological parents (who could be older than us, the same physical age as us or sometimes younger!) but we did not know how to handle them or how to respond to them. And many of the non-biological parents themselves did not fully understand exactly what they were being called to do.
Too often the relationship between non-biological parents and older ‘children’ of the complementary sex to them is sexualized and reaches a dead end.
Find out more in my upcoming book on parenting.