When you know who you are and what your mission in life is then you need to find people to help you fulfill it.
There may be many people in your life but do you stop to ask what role you are playing in each other’s lives?
You need to know what TYPE of relationship you are in with any particular individual and what the expectations and limitations are of that relationship.
Those around you may include parents, ‘children’, friends, partners and servants. All play different roles in your life.
Parenting is about helping a child (of any age) to find his or her path in life ( see The Parenting Cycle).
Friendship is about two people on their own paths in life comparing notes and sharing stories.
Partnership is about two people sharing a common path through life and being bonded to each other through intimacy (sexual or otherwise).
A servant or employee is someone who helps another to achieve his mission in return for some form of compensation.
Of course, some of these may overlap – an employee could also be your friend, for example.
Our relationships – the people around us that we have been given or have chosen – have a GREAT bearing on our confidence levels and whether or not we achieve our missions.
If you surround yourself with negative people who are always trying to suppress your ideas due to their own inadequacies and fears then you are in SERIOUS trouble.
There are many people around us who don’t want to fix their own broken lives but are ever ready to tell us how to live ours!
People will either draw you back from or help you to pursue your mission – there is no such thing as a neutral relationship! Take stock of how the key people around you relate to you and how you relate to them.
When it comes to sex in particular you need to be aware of just what it involves and how, when it is used in the wrong way, you can end up paying a high price for a little pleasure never realizing that it is your sexual habits that are bringing you down in other areas of your life and destroying your confidence and your relationships with both other people and God!
Many have been derailed on the journey to achieving their missions by poor sexual choices.
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See that girl – think she’s cute. Hold that thought. See that boy – oh, he’s easy on the eyes. Stop!! One of two things could happen here. You rip each others clothes off, jump into bed, have sex and then……what? Or you could read this article and try and understand what is REALLY going on.
Do you find yourself attracted to and attractive to members of a particular segment of society wanting to see them achieve their full potential? Do you know the real purpose of this attraction? If those you attract are of the complementary sex to you is this attraction for sex or marriage? If a younger/ immature […]
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I once did a radio show where one of the callers was a man in his fifties who actually had TO MOVE HOUSE because, by his own admission, he could not say ‘no’ the numerous requests his neighbours were making of him! On the same show a Ghanaian man called from London saying he was already married but his Auntie was pressuring him into marrying another woman, what did I think he should do?
Sex! So confusing to know what is right and wrong? And ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ for who? Does it really matter what I do in my bedroom? Prepare yourself for some surprises!
People-pleasing can be defined as the act of constantly putting others needs before our own not so much with an altruistic motive but with an aim towards dependency – in order to get something in return. Often people-pleasing involves putting aside our own personality, desires and moral code and tolerating detrimental behaviour on the part of others who are seen to have wealth or influence in society and act as economic/power hubs to the rest of us.
Many of us take responsibility for other people’s feelings and problems when we do not need to. Without demarcations we do not know where we end and others begin. This leads to over-dependency and poor self- identity. We need to set boundaries to what we are responsible for and what we are not.
Emotional blackmail occurs where, for example, a parent may ask a child to do something and if he or she does not do it the parent will accuse the child of not loving him. A man may do the same to his wife or a woman to her husband. The victim of emotional blackmail is made to feel bad when not doing the will of the emotional blackmailer. Emotional slaves are always made to feel compelled to please their “superiors” even at the expense of their own beliefs, convictions and will. Does any of this sound like you?