When it comes to marriage, in Ghana, we often marry people for reasons that are shaky. I have counselled people who got married because one of them had been good to the other whilst he or she was going through school or had a sickness. It seemed a good idea to marry them out of gratitude. Many people get married because they had sex outside marriage and they now face a pregnancy. Many people marry without understanding why they are marrying or who they are marrying. Many don’t even know ourselves.
If you are called to marry, you need a spouse who will support you in your mission not one who will hold you back.
John has discovered he has a women and children’s ministry (as explained in my upcoming book on parenting). As part of his life mission he is called to be a Dad to under-fathered women and to use his authority as a man with children to help them acquire discipline for life. This role requires there to be moments of intimacy between his ‘children’ and himself although John has never been unfaithful to his wife Sarah.
'Sex Just Complicates Everything !'
But Sarah does not understand why he is spending all his time on other women and other people’s children? She lashes out at John and constantly belittles his need to get his affection outside the home. John now feels out of place at home and stays out for longer hours. Their marriage is in trouble.
Raveena and Joanna started a local bakery together. Raveena always knew that the reason for this business was to support the community and give back whilst making a reasonable profit. She jokes that the richer folk would buy the sweet cakes and provide the money to ‘sweeten’ the lives of those less well-off in the community whom Raveena feels called to help as part of her life mission. But Joanna has other ideas. She wants to go global, develop the business into a franchise, sell it and then retire. As Joanna contributed the most money to the business Raveena feels she has little say in its future. She has lost all her joy at coming in to work and dreads the day when the business is sold to the highest bidder and everyone in the community will believe that she is just another profiteer.
The Secret To A Great Partnership At Home And At Work
Great partnerships are much more than the mere coming together of two or more people to tackle everyday tasks. I believe there are at least 3 key things that make partnerships great.
Great partnerships are where people are on a joint mission united by similar values and enriched by complementary life outlooks.
This means that you and all your partners need to have a good idea of who you are. Ask yourself if it would be possible to meet the criteria for a great partnership listed below if you or your intended partners did not know yourselves.
3 Keys To Great Partnerships
To enter into a meaningful partnership you need to know your God-given mission in life – what were you created for? What has God sent you here to do?
Your partners are coming to help you achieve your mission either in your work or your personal life – they cannot do that if you do not know what that mission is.
Neither can they help you if they don’t know what their missions are. Missions form the heart of any great partnership.
Important personal values that need to considered in partnerships are:
Money and the use of it (spend or save), sex (how often, what type), social status (the desire to mingle with ‘other classes’?) and parenting style (liberal or authoritarian?).
Others are employment options (wife to work or stay at home?), time spent on others (bringing needy cases home or not) and, religious/ spiritual beliefs (Muslims marrying Christians or vice versa).
Zoom-in architects focus on a future goal prioritizing, making policy, providing a sense of urgency and setting and meeting deadlines.
Wide-angle builders consider many aspects of an issue before acting. They focus on the present and their specialty is building relationships (networking), negotiating and bringing peace.
Both life outlooks are needed for great ‘full-picture’ partnerships. Find out more at the www.kentecode.com.